“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret”

Let us at least try and break down that secret, by listening to couples who were in fact able to maintain a healthy relationship and stay happy even after years of marriage, and that too, to the same person. Though it seems like a miracle, it is still possible, provided you are willing to put in an effort and work on your marriage. Of course, what may do the trick for some may not necessarily work for others, but one can always improvise, right?

First we need to understand why a healthy marriage is important. Because it’s a win-win for the whole family as everyone benefits from it especially the children. It has been proved that children, of parents in a healthy relation, have a better emotional quotient, show better performance in studies and hence achieve a higher standard of living and are less likely to substance abuse like drugs and alcohol or become victims of a violent crime. In a healthy relationship both man and woman share the same benefits and have respect for each other.

Some of the common secrets shared by couples and marriage counselors are given below:

Mutual commitment: Every relation has its ups and downs but it’s the uncommitted souls who take the easy way out and quit. But couples, who are committed, have a strong will and love each other, will stay and fight for their marriage

Respect: Listening and supporting each other’s ideas or choices are really necessary, as it displays mutual respect, essential in a marriage. Never be shy to apologize and never let your ego come in the way. Be humble to your spouse and try to understand their perception. In case of a fight, be sensible and always control your tongue.

Special time: No matter how hectic your schedule is, make it a point to spend some quality time with your spouse. Do something impromptu, surprise each other or the least that can be done is going out for a walk or watching your kids play together. That amount of commitment and patience should be there on your part. Couples should also go to religious discourses and pray together.

Communication: It is the most important of all according to almost 100% of the people interviewed. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. Talk about your passion, fantasies and interests. Just think of it this way, a lot of couples having a troubled relationship go to counselors to save their marriage, what is it that they do there, they talk and vent out their anger. If this could have been done earlier then things wouldn’t have reached the counselor in the first place. So, communicate about every possible thing.

Apart from all these trust each other and be honest. Keep your sense of humor alive, it will help you survive in the long run. Good luck

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